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[GM]Dave. Satan, or the GM you wish all mmo companies hired.

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Now I never really had any love for other current mmos. Don't get me wrong all games have the capacity for being fun, but I've noticed that many who are suckered into mmos tend to have a gang turf mentality. I admittedly have it as well.

I've had EQ players lothe WoW due to it's harsh gear based PvP and easy bent. I've seen AoC players say....wait people still play that!? (I had to crack on it...WoW killer my ass, that game killed itself).

I had a family friend sit, explain and show off FFXI Online to me to sell me on it's hard dog eat dog world of real high end play (and loosing levels if you die!). And so many emails from friends trying to get me to return to online play- through Warhammer...Many mmos players just seem to be, 'x mmo is better, play it or die, ragurrrhh!'.

But in the sea of blogs I hit on today, I found one that transcends turf.

Meet [GM]Dave of the blog Bannable Offenses.

[GM] Dave may or may not exist. Many have tried to prove or disprove his existence and failed. Or were fed to a big bad boss. And, Jormungand is never full.

[GM]Dave is supposedly a people hating, extremely bored [GM] of this game called FFXI. He openly admits to hating people, and sees playing WoW as akin to cheating (I recall a post where his Wife admits to trying out the WoW trial...hilarity ensues).

But it's not his rabid disdain of people or WoW that entertains. It's his rabid disdain of all the people in Vana'diel. Or the customers that he has to babysit over stupid questions. Now apparently in FFXI sending a GM stupid tells can get you the ban hammer.

But [GM]Dave goes one step further. He literally dicks with you, then ports you to often high level places, and either: the area has no means of escape, and involve fighting others to leave, account deletion, or normally being ported to big bad Jormungand, a raid boss that is not soloable. And Jormungand is never full after a meal.

Now this blog is entertaining in so many ways because:

  • The pompous players in game and how having high end gear and top levels does not make you better than everyone else. His blog mocks this group openly, even so much as luring them in his comments (their intent usually to pick him apart to say that he isn't real) and the GM showing up, and generally picking them apart for fun.

  • Customer service and how it sucks. Everyone at some point in your lives has had (or currently is in) a job in the Customer service industry. And no one cannot say how aweful catering to people is. No, not the nice people that understand that you are providing them a service, no I mean the jerks who must make your day hell by taking out their frustrations on you. This blog shows how much hell it truly is and plays up the fun of turning the tables on unappreciative people. 'The customer is wrong, bitch!'

  • The myth of an over zealous gm: because even if he isn't real, the fun of messing around with deserving customers is honestly felt by others gamers (and some of this applies even in RL) who have dealt with the types of people he encounters on a daily basis and can do nothing about- the cheaters, the whinners, the 'I'm high level and am leeters than joo, cater to meeeh!', the handholders looking for hand outs, and just plain the guys many just want to reach through the monitor screen and choke to death.

The blog could be seem as a GM gone mad, a satire on GM power and customer service jobs in general, or the wish of a lowly man in a shitty job. Either way his observations on player behavior and actions applies to all mmos (or games that require any human interaction at all) across the board, the gamers that play them, and made for a very fun, devilish read.


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